This is his only SUNDAY with the family and I finally realized my importance in his mind.
Today we had lunch with my parents to catch up with his 2 months away from home. Last night we had dinner with HIS families.
In the evening I was tired and don't feel like eating out. Well, I would assume/presume that he would want to spend his Sunday dinner with US as a family. I think he still does not put US as his top priority. He had chosen HIS Families over us.
I am totally disappointed but from this, I know that I HAVE to learn to be more INDEPENDENT from now onwards.
我们三人会好好的过接下来的日子！！
14 comments:
别这么想。男人总是比较粗心的，而我们女人的心思对他们来说是猜不透，也难以理解的。对他们来说，“大家”一起吃饭跟“家人”一起吃饭也许是一样的。只有我们女人才知道这中间差了十万八千里。
把你的想法告诉他吧！问题就迎刃而解了。
Hi Astee, I can understand how you feel...as a wife. but maybe let him have a chance to explain his actions ... maybe your hubby misses his parents
- Ling
hi Angie,
说的有道理。他不了解“家人”的定义。两个月来，辛苦的人是我， 回来他在乎的是他们。。
我累了！不想再去 说什么，接下来两或三个月还得继续走三人行。。谢谢你的鼓励！
regards,
astee
Hi Ling,
Thanks for your encouragment..to me ,explanation is just an excuse...hee : P
What matter more is what comes from the heart.
Summary of eating with parents -
Last Sunday - dinner upon arrival
Thursday - Dinner wz his families to celebrate his brother birthday.
Saturday - dinner with his families
EAT as ACES FAMILY - 0 time.
The score is obvious. I rest my case.
regards,
astee
errr... how about mon tues wed and friday?
我想你的老公不是不在乎你和孩子。如果他从来都不是这样的人，就不要下这样的结论。我不是袒护他，而是希望你不要不快乐。他在外也是辛苦的，接下来大家都要忍受思念的煎熬。所以，一定要好好把心事说出来，这样才有力量继续一起走下去。有了这个心结，总是不太好。因为越在乎他，所以你的失望才会那么大。所以，在乎他就解决它。：）
haha...angie, you are so good to try to provide defence.
Weekdays we usually settled the children 1st..cos i need to wash their clothing. So we don't really sit down and eat as a family.
What makes me disappointed was the children were having their afternoon nap.
His PLAN for Sunday dinner - if children still asleep, he will eat with his families, leaving me with the 2 kids...to eat alone.
That's make me think he does not even consider the children, less talk about me.
His excuse was the families had specially made dinner reservation for him etcs.
Come on..."dong xi si Si de, ren is huo de."...i believe you know how i felt at that moment.
Don't worry, i am looking forward to my Club Med vacation and enjoy my TIME with the children.
This episode wakes me up a lot.. : )
rgds,
astee
I agree with Angie that most men are unable to sense or visualise unless we women voice it out.
You're not alone, I'm also in similar predicament. Hubby used to go on golfing trips or kaki gathering EVERY weekend afternoon/night. Situation only improved when I voiced to him why not we cancel Ee Zen's art class since I'm the only one who need to bring him all the way to Suntec and carrying baby on public transport? I also need to worry abt providing lunch & dinner to his mum who is too elderly to cook or buy herself, since no one could bring her to relative's place for cards kaki session.
So now, hubby plans early morning golf on Sat so he can be home by mid-afternoon (at least we can do family dinner and his mum doesn't pull black face with missing her session) and his kaki gathering will be AFTER ee zen's art class on Sun.
Hi Brightsong,
Yes, i know the importance of Voice it out..i did hinted to him that we need no eat with his families, but i guess hint was not enough.
Anyway, i will make a statement next time if he ever asked me to eat out if i don't feel like it..haha : P
Thanks for sharing your personal experience, i know it's tough but glad that things are working out fine for your family.
regards,
astee
no worries, sharing experiences will help us to relieve stress. i learned the part on needing to voice out (of course, peacefully lah) the difficult way. Previously, I would be the one pulling a long face (thinking hubby would get the hint) but hubby got annoyed instead (so actually, he was the one who started the voice-out, haha). That's when "the volcano exploded", but for a better outcome nonetheless. :)
don't be too upset over this..my hubby too! Every outing i plan for our family, he will have to include his family..it got me mad sometimes too.
And whenever I question/ get angry over this, he would ask this: "do you hope your kids to come home and visit you often next time when they have their own family?" and i was left dumbfounded..
Also, there's a saying that says
As a woman I understand the disappointment. How we wish our man will pay more attention to us, spend more time with us and our kids.
Not that we are selfish, its becoz we love them that we enjoyed his company.
Men are usually not that sensitive. To them, dinner is just a dinner. To us, dinner is not only dinner but the attention.
Cheer up babe!
Hi Mommy Charmaine,
Your hubby is so cute to return the ball to your court.
I will mandate that we eat as a FAMILY on Sundays as Anthea has school on monday, so cannot stay up too late..hee : P
Saturdays are still open to Families gatherings.
cheers,
astee
Hi Vivien,
Thanks for sharing the same sentiments and i think it's a common thing that MAN are just insensitive.
If everything also must spell out BLACK & WHITE..then what is there to talk about mutual understanding..haha : P
cheers,
astee
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