“My Mommy doesn't teach me”

Recently at Lydia's birthday party, I met one of Anthea's classmate mommy. She is a Full Time working mother. She had 3 children and Anthea's classmate (S) is the youngest of her 3 children.
We were chatting about our children result in school and she lamented that S was not doing very well in her studies. I had also heard from Anthea that S had not learnt this and not learnt that in class.

S's mother was very stressed and tensed. Previously for her 2 older children, she had left them in an after school care centre and so far, they are pretty independent in their studies and she had no worries.

As of this year, she engaged a maid and kept all the 3 children at home after school. The reason is cost efficiency. For the after school care service, she needs to pay $300 per child, so if she was to put 3 of them there, it would be a hefty sum of $900 per month. She said it's almost ¾ of her salary. So she decided to engage a maid which can look after the children and help her parents in housework too.

To her dismayed, S is not as independent as her siblings in her studies. So she is lagging behind in class. She told me that the form teacher has feedback to her when the teacher asked S why she does not know her work. S would say: “my MOMMY didn't teach me.”

I was so shocked to hear S feedback too. I had never thought that a child of this age would put the “BLAME” on her parents. S's mommy was asking me about Anthea's after school care arrangement and I told her I take care of Anthea personally. Then she commented: “seem like all those children with mommy at home have no problems in their studies. Children with working mommy seem to be facing issues.”

I thought about her comments and I was thinking to myself. Yes, I made the decision to become a PTSAHM because I know the initial transition part to Primary school is difficult and the child will need a lot of attention. I believe S is not a slow learner but I think she just wants her mother attention.

I had the chance to chat with another working mommy and she felt the same, as a FT working mother, she does not have enough time to guide her daughter in her studies and she is now seriously considering to go Part Time next year. Also she mentioned that her daughter's school teacher recommended Parents to sign their children up for tuition or enrichment classes if they have problem teaching their own child. (she said this was recommend during a Chinese workshop in school)

Nowadays, Primary ONE children are not just learning A-B-C, they are really learning much more at a faster speed than we used to. Imagine spelling each week, topical tests every after every 2 chapters taught and Oral test with listening comprehension. There are just so much information for the parents to digest, less talk about the children…sigh.

Till today, I am glad that I had the opportunity to be with Anthea and to see that the transition from Kindergarten to Primary school goes smoothly and she is adapting well.

It is not an easy decision but I believe it's the Best I can give to my children.

I hope that as Anthea grows up she will remember that Mommy is always there for her, as and when she needs me.