我的内疚

Since last Sunday evening, I had been feeling ill till this May Day…

On Sunday evening, I developed a fever and started taking the fever medicine. On Monday morning, I went to the doctor and got some other medication for the illness. Usually within 2 days of medication, I would recover but somehow by Wednesday, I developed another illness – gastric.

This illness caused me a lot of discomfort. I had this very tight feeling on the chest and felt like vomiting all the time. I told Adrian it’s like having morning sickness minus the pregnancy.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for the 2nd time and get medication for the gastric problem. Now I am feeling slightly better but still weak from all the drowsy medication.

This week I hadn’t been fulfilling my duty much, especially in the morning. My normal routine is to wake up 6am and prepare simple breakfast for Anthea. But this week, I can’t wake up at 6am. So in the end, she was “forced” to do all the morning routine on her own. Adrian told me “luckily, she is now quite independent.”

Yes, she now do her own breakfast, changed herself and get her ready before Adrian fetched her to school.

But one thing she will do for sure – she will come by to my bedside and say Bye Bye to me and then we will set a timing to meet after school. It was a consolation to me, at the least.

I have been feeling guilty this whole week for not being able to wake up in the morning for Anthea but I know I needed the rest to walk a longer journey with her. She will understand my situation. Also because of my illness, I know Anthea has grown to be an independent girl and she will be able to take good care of herself whenever mommy is down & out…: P

Having said this – I tell myself – 我一定要好起来！！加油！